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Barking Mad?
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HotHouse asked me to write an article about the difficulties involved in putting an entry into the Biting Dog Festival. As I have NEVER experienced ANY difficulties, I couldn’t write anything. However I found these diary entries whilst cleaning out the desk of a colleague who has been medically retired. Hope they may be of some use…
12 Weeks Out… Received info about the Barking Mad festival today in the mail. Three months – plenty of time! Vow not to waste any time this year.
9 Weeks Out…Called a meeting today for kids who wanted to be in the festival. Overwhelming response, about 4 classes worth. All I have to do is split them into groups and choose the one that comes up with the best idea. Too easy. I am brilliant.
6 Weeks Out…Cripes. Things unravelling fast. Group 1 has a fantastic concept but all the stage presence of a deflated beach ball. Group 2 has used every adolescent cliché in the book, but how can I explain this to them when their life IS one big adolescent cliché?! Group 3 has lost interest since they discovered acting actually involved rehearsal and learning lines. Most worrying of all, have received veiled threats from Group 4 after I banned swearing, simulated sex, gratuitous violence, fog machines and references to drug taking. Must take up self defence classes.
5 Weeks Out…Juggling four different versions of the same script has sent me potty. Every time we think we have it, a ridiculous cue, word or action refuses to fit into our idea. Vow and declare never to do this again. My life IS a neutral script.
TEACHER: What are you doing? Get on with it.
STUDENT: (Optional line, and accompanying action involving silly compulsory prop).
TEACHER: That’s physically impossible/incredibly clever/highly inappropriate. (Choose one) Student laughs/sobs. A bell is heard. Someone exits. Teacher laughs/sobs.
4 Weeks out…Must choose the winning group today. Do I go for the abuse-of-children-in-detention-by-clergy-hiding-weapons-of-mass-destruction, in Brechtian/absurdist/Meyerhold style, or teenager-fights-with-parents-and-friends-then-contemplates-suicide-while-binge-drinking, performed in Home and Away style?
2 Weeks Out…Made The Decision today. Most of the class are no longer talking to me. Thank God.
1 Week out…Hooray! Finished script today. Jolly good. Now have four whole lessons left to teach them how to act.
Tech Rehearsal…Terrific buzz as we entered the theatre today. (Actually a tech trainee had accidentally electrified the stage floor). Wonderful to see the set completed but I was a bit anxious when the parent volunteer brought it down in two semi-trailer loads. The lovely Barking Mad crew said they knew a place they could shove it. What a relief to be here after buying tickets, onselling tickets, organising excursion notes, booking buses, doing publicity, arranging cover for my classes – thank goodness for recess and lunchtimes! Must congratulate self on losing so much weight.
SHOWTIME!!! I say, what a thrill for all concerned. Hugs all round, even for me, from the student who is usually too shy to say boo, the student who usually hates everyone, in fact from everyone and their mothers/fathers/lovers/parole officers. Many parents who had never seen their kids act before were crying afterwards. So was the Principal. So was the Stage Manager.
It was indescribably empowering to see our humble ideas come to life with all the technical expertise and support we could desire. Perhaps I shall enter us again next year…
Liz Heitmeyer
Murray High School, 2004
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